"I'm not available to enjoy my life right now, so please leave me a message..."

Have you ever had a day when you hate the way you look, hate the way you feel, and hate the life you're living? Well, I'm having one of those days today and would give anything in the world to be able to crawl back into bed, pull the blankets over my head, and listen to Maury Povich tell another poor schmuck that he is, indeed, the father.